Reapers Tip: #1

Ugh, what a week… First off, I’d like to just say this. I had absolutely NOTHING to do with Seth Greetings court date. Yes, I know how it looks… But, I am an huge supporter of Seth as a matter of fact. So, I would never do this to him.

Without further ado, I give you the first true Reaper Tip!

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Lava Nymph warning: How to survive a Lava Nymph?

Today, the Kilauea Volcano went into a Volcano watch. This Volcano located in Hawaii —–>  Image

Is the worlds most active Volcano. Most volcanoes die out pretty soon after erupting once, so this brings me to the question… Is this a supernatural hotspot? Hawaii as you may know, has an extremely large supernatural community. What with the Tiki’s, and the old Hawaiian gods, you can hardly walk 2 steps without hitting something! So what makes this Volcano special? Nymphs. Controllers of nature, and ancient guardians of nature. I.E The Killauea Volcano. So, how do you survive a Lava Nymph? Well very simply actually. You try to talk to them, see if anything is bugging them, and if something is, help them with that. It should appease them somewhat. Well, unless it involves human sacrifice in which case DO NOT do it. The Reapers Tips ™ does not condone human sacrifice. Even if it is to appease an angry volcano god. 

If you don’t want to help them out, and/or can’t, I suggest running. As I said, this is very simple. Nymphs are not very complex creatures. They really just want to protect nature at all costs. So, whether your in Hawaii or anywhere else in the world, Or outside of it as the case may be. Just follow these tips and you will survive most Nymph attacks. With full Reaper guarentee!

The reaper is not responsible for any lost lives using this tips, if you have a problem take it up with the High Council. 

Unicorns, little girls fantasy, or healing horned horses of pure awesome?

th (5) So, you might be thinking. The Reaper? A death bringer, talking about Unicorns? I now wonder about his macho man status. Well, ladies I am still 100 percent pure macho man. No, Unicorns are pure sure, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t tough. I’ve had to reap a man or two for trying to touch that beautiful silvery mane. But, Unicorns are  a type of therianthrope like, Draconians, Were-cats, Werewolves, and all the weres. But unlike weres and certain draconians, 1) Unicorns are Healers. Sure, some light Draconians can heal but will they? 2) Unicorns are secretive and might spend most – if not all – their 700 or so year lifespan in human form. And if they don’t, well… Poachers, Horn Hunters, Sorcerers, and little girls. (Okay the last one might not be so bad to you, but imagine a Unicorns standpoint? Would you want to be touched by a little girl who might have spaghetti sauce on her hands? Didn’t think so.)

So, if worse comes to worse and you actually have to fight one of these wonderful creatures, here are some tips to keep you alive and well.

1. Don’t go for the horn. First of all, how would you like it if someone tried to rip your head off using like your ear? Probably wouldn’t would you. Second, that’s the number 1 most dangerous weapon a unicorn has. 

2. See if you can calm him/her down. As much as the unicorn may seem to want to kill you, it might just be scared, or even hurt. I suggest trying to rub it’s nose. (not in human form for gods sake not in human form.) And whisper to it softly. Again, no horn touch.

3. (This is a LAST resort.) If you have to end it, don’t use normal weapons. Magic is the only way to finish off a unicorn. Again, don’t do this unless absolutely necessary. But, I suggest going to your nearest lake, or other water source. And asking for a magic sword. Or maybe even a butter knife. No really, butter knifes have been known to cause trouble in the past. (http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/survivor-of-the-month-kzazrier-vetenari this Seth on Survival survivor was actually cursed by a butter knife.) So, get your magic weapon, and hope to see another day! 

——————————–If YOU are a unicorn————————-

First off, it is a true honor to have you grace our presence. 

Second, I love your race. Keep on rocking,  my horned brothers. 

And to the rest of you, keep on rocking, just be careful not to kill one of these wonderful creatures.